May 1, 2012

so uninspired to finish my project 365.

April 27, 2012

It’s been a week….

April 22, 2012

people’ve been asking how i am. and i truly appreciate it. but i’ve been replying i’m “ok” or i’m fine. but truth is… i dont know how i’m feeling. do i feel angry? pissed? sad? disappointed? heartbroken? i dont think it’s truly hit me yet… that my most treasured possessions are not returning to me. my camera and my necklace that my brother got for my 19th birthday. Not to mention, my mom’s sentimental items as well. Ho sum tong. Words cant describe. No money can replace the value of those things that are stolen. Im kinda glad i have 267 to keep my mind occupied for 2 days because i dont want to think about what’s happened. Having such a meltdown as i’m typing this. I guess i’ve been holding it in. and it’s surfacing up. i wish i had stayed at school longer to study. i can’t focus at home especially with this situation occurring at home. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. And right now i dont know what that is, but if it’s God’s will, then let it be. But Lord, please…….. continue to give me the joy, hope, trust and faith in You. It’s probably one of the hardest experience of my life. So dont let me go as You’re molding me  from this. Please.  

i want a hug so bad right now :(

April 21, 2012

Numb

My heart is broken. Hurts. Shiiii. This sucks Trying to hold back the tears. Lord, if this is a test…. It’s a bloody hard one. I just pray that you’ll give us the strength to endure this and that the robber would be found. Thank you for keeping my family safe. 

March 23, 2012

been such a crummy week… 

first, lost my favorite pencil. oh wells, i could’ve been fine with just that. Suck it up, buy another pencil for like 5 bucks. boohoo. but then, got ice tea spilt on my laptop. Now at least 10 keys dont light up and the keys are sticky even after taking the keys off and putting them back on. Planning to get the keyboard fixed.. who knows how much that’ll cost.. i cant stand working with the keyboard like that.. pisses me off every night.. To add to this list, lost my favorite ring. I’ve searched my living room, clothes, washroom, bedroom from top to bottom and not a sign of it. </3 Making me so sad. I cant even remember if i was wearing it when i got home…. argghh :(

alskdjflkasjdk;fjw;oeuyoiquwoiwueljs;lkjaf;lskdjflkajsd;fkjasdfjasd;f.bye.

March 15, 2012

vul·ner·a·ble

1.
capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt. 

I dislike being in this state. I hate letting people see me cry. I’m too used to keeping everything to myself and having a front. Saying “I’m okay” even though i’m not. Even in hs, i was always the one that stayed strong for my friends and rarely broke down. And during the time i did, i’d make up the lamest excuse like “oh, the weather made me sad”. However, i’ve learned being vulnerable is having the trust that the wounds i’m sharing to my friend, he/she would not laugh and mock me, but to help and encourage me. It’s still hard for me to open up. I’d rather be the person that listens, than the one that does all the talking. I broke down on saturday. It sucked but at the same time it felt good because i was able to cry it out. I’m thankful that there was someone there to comfort me. Thank you for embracing me during my most vulnerable state, friend. 

February 23, 2012

就是開不了口讓她知道

February 15, 2012

a thank you would’ve been nice.

February 12, 2012

it’s cause i care that this sucks. otherwise, i wouldnt give a crap what u’re doing. 

February 10, 2012

you can’t give what you dont have.