Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.
Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.
This week’s been physically draining. Period. No joke. Lets see. Beginning from Saturday, the boiler at home’s been broken until today. That’s 5 WHOLE days without a shower at home. So what does that mean? Meaning, showering @ church either waking up early to go, or staying up late (gotta pick my bro after work = 12am) then shower. Then going to schoool, homework, blahblahblah. And today, got a friggin flat tire. Perfect. Oh. So. Darn. Perfect.
(Y)
BUT AT LEAST. THANK YOU JESUSSSSSS! HOT WATER IS BACK :) thats the best news of the day.
there are friends.
Then there are the true friends. They dont judge me, love my flaws, make me laugh and laugh with me, hug me in good times and bad, cry with me, sing with me, walk with me, grow together in the Lord, endure the most painful times together, say what they mean and mean what they say, share their blessings, warm my heart, give me reality checks, support me, encourage me, despite the distance. Those, i cherish with all my heart. Thank you and i love you guys.
Everything’s different now. No doubt about that. Do i miss the past? A part of me does, yes. Was it my fault that i began distancing myself to a point that now there’s like a ‘strangers vibe’? Perhaps. But, can’t blame me. I was just tired of it. Didnt seem like you tried either so…. =\
On another note… I’m leading worship for the first time this Sunday. I’m nervous as heck. I dont want to do it because i feel that i’m not ready. There’s so much pressure. As the worship leader, you have the responsibility to lead others into the presence of God. And like, i dont know how i’m gonna do it… i dont know. And you might say, its not YOU, it’s God using you. True. But, oh God, prepare my heart… prepare the hearts of those in the congregation. This is all for Your glory God… Please pray for me if you read this. I need lots of prayer.
your words mean nothing to me now.
my hopes were high, but once again, i’m left here utterly disappointed.
i guess i was right. i feel like i dont know you anymore and that our friendship only lie within the four corners of msn chat. We’ve become so distant in person now.. and even so, when u see me, i feel like i’m being treated like crap. =\ Ya, i dont mind being made fun of/ being joked around, but u’re taking it wayy to far… Enough is enough. You should tell by my body reaction.. but doesnt seem like it. You have no idea how much that makes me sad. You’re completely different in real life now. I dont wanna lose another friend.
This subject makes me depressed. I’m frustrated at how the money i earn at two jobs right now goes straight to tuition. Constantly saving and hardly pampering myself. I wont lie, i envy those that have tuition paid for them. The things i wanna do with my money instead of tuition: buy a camera, bless my parents and friends. My sony one has lasted me 4 years through highlights and abuses. But, if i really want to go further with my passion, i really need to upgrade. I dont want to upgrade to another amateur level camera, but one that’s better. (I’m getting off topic, oh no. lets go back on topic). I’m so stressed out when i see my bank account plunge after paying for tuition. It takes me awhile to get it back up again and next thing you know, it plunges again. Knowing what my parents are going through, i’d hate to even ask them for help. However, God’s been helping me through, that’s for sure. On another note, it infuriates me to people take money for granted and spending it carelessly as if one hundred dollars was equivalent to a dollar. If only they knew how hard it takes to earn like couple hundred dollars. If only…
i’ve realized… Doesnt what kinda relationship you’re in whether it’s friendship or a relationship, having one person putting all the effort just doesn’t work. It’s not balanced. And sooner or later, that person will tire out. Tbh, that’s what i’m feeling right now. I think God’s trying to show that He’s trying to reach out to me too, but i havent responded to him, just like this other person isn’t responding to me (if that even made sense to you). Meanwhile, this earthy relationship that i’m pursuing is tough. Like I said, me putting the effort is tiring me out. I’m spending way too much time being infatuated of the “idea” of him, instead of how this individual truly is. Maybe i should take my focus off of him and onto God. It’s going to be difficult. // It’s funny how i give relationship advice to my other friends and the stuff i say totally applies to my current situation, but i dont even follow it. How sad.
Can’t get this song outta my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chx7jof1Uog
Got so many things on my mind, once again.
friend zone. boo. not gonna lie, bit sad. but what can i do. not like anything was gonna happen from the beginning anyways right?
